Whole Again            

I just don’t know if I’ll ever be whole again

I’m supposed to pull it together - Get on with this life;

But when I think about the world I face

I don’t know if I have enough to fight.

I really should have done more to emotionally prepare

She wasn’t in the best health, but still

I never thought she wouldn’t be there.

It was one thing to lose my Daddy,

took me years to stop the tears;

But when the Lord called to the wind for Mama

He took my heart and soul and left me in fear.

I never ever doubted that my parents loved me

It scares me when I’m forced to think

That type of love for me will never again be.

I’m alone now and it hurts me so much

No longer anyone’s baby

Farewell to Mama’s touch.

I search high and low to find that inner peace

Everybody tells me it’s coming

Lord knows that’s all I seek.

I try not thinking about it and never to dwell

But it doesn’t bother to listen

To the pain my heart knows so well.

I know they are with goodness and life abundantly

I just can’t help but be selfish

I wish they were still here with me.

Daddy’s been gone for 24 years and Mama just nearly two

I see her spirit in my daughter’s eyes

Some days that gets me thru.

Yet most days are hard and often met with tears

I pray one day it’ll get better

Counting through the years;

I feel their spirits floating in the wind

But the fact remains clear

I love them both and i know I’ll never be whole again.

By: QueenFolayan, 3/12/2012